You Don’t Wanna Read This

When one has absolutely nothing to post on their blog, such posts come to their rescue.

I sat in my room all messed up as always and started thinking like Sherlock, why my previous blog didn’t work out? And a thought crossed my mind, who’s a better genius: Einstein or Sherlock. Upon rigorous discussion with my toenail I realised it’s not Sherlock, it’s Sir Doyle.

So that led to the revelation that I actually don’t blog much because I don’t find time and the reasons for that being:

  1. I have opprobrious* smartness disorder in which my smartness outsmarts the smartness of the entire population of Neptune.
  2. I have the combined sex appeal of Robert Downey Jr., David Beckham, and Justin Bieber.
  3. My conversations with my toenail keep me busy more than anything.
  4. My IQ is more than your fish.
  5. I probably love you.
  6. We had sex, it was great. What’s your name?

If you laughed after reading this shit you have a mental disorder. Such things should annoy you.

If you just smiled, I bet you were thinking about having sex.

If you were annoyed, because after all it was all gibberish, you’re definitely having a mental disorder because this shit is funny and I’m fucking hilarious. Learn to laugh a little ffs.

I was taught in school that an essay should have three parts:

  1. Introduction
  2. Body
  3. Chocolates anyone?

* If you don’t know what opprobrious means, simple call me (if you’re insanely hot) otherwise just fucking Google it, genius.

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