When one has absolutely nothing to post on their blog, such posts come to their rescue.
I sat in my room all messed up as always and started thinking like Sherlock, why my previous blog didn’t work out? And a thought crossed my mind, who’s a better genius: Einstein or Sherlock. Upon rigorous discussion with my toenail I realised it’s not Sherlock, it’s Sir Doyle.
So that led to the revelation that I actually don’t blog much because I don’t find time and the reasons for that being:
- I have opprobrious* smartness disorder in which my smartness outsmarts the smartness of the entire population of Neptune.
- I have the combined sex appeal of Robert Downey Jr., David Beckham, and Justin Bieber.
- My conversations with my toenail keep me busy more than anything.
- My IQ is more than your fish.
- I probably love you.
- We had sex, it was great. What’s your name?
If you laughed after reading this shit you have a mental disorder. Such things should annoy you.
If you just smiled, I bet you were thinking about having sex.
If you were annoyed, because after all it was all gibberish, you’re definitely having a mental disorder because this shit is funny and I’m fucking hilarious. Learn to laugh a little ffs.
I was taught in school that an essay should have three parts:
- Chocolates anyone?
* If you don’t know what opprobrious means, simple call me (if you’re insanely hot) otherwise just fucking Google it, genius.